How do we help our kids make friends as we travel?

Our kids told us leaving their friends made them feel sad which was difficult to hear. Our teenage son was particularly concerned about this and made his feelings known asking us when we were planning to return before we had even left!

We were effectively pressing the reset button on our current existence as a family and making a new life. A life that doesn’t have a script. A life that is not part of a system with routine and structure. A life that didn’t involve being around the same people day in and day out. A life that involved slow but regular travel where home was “where you hang your hat”.

Could this possibly end well or even be a non-starter?! Well we had the courage to turn the page, take the risk and find out..

Our trip started so well for us as a family in the first month. With me not working, it meant we could spend lots of time together as a family. Skyla, Kobie, Aniyah and Nakhai only have 3 years age difference between them so they keep each other company which is helpful. They still found it easy making other friends as the language barrier didn’t matter at their age.

Jayden is 15 (14 when we left) so he would tend to avoid his younger siblings spending time with his mum and dad. We did lots together including diving, snorkelling, surfing, learning to play pool, trekking up mountains, trying new foods. We had another UK family with us for the first month in Bali who had a teenager and they both got on really well.

Where things started to regress for Jayden’s happiness was our choice of locations going forward. It was a remote location in Lombok after Bali. The isolation for Jayden over the next 5 weeks took its toll. Then it was Borneo for 5 weeks and our frequent movement from one destination to the next through Sabah compounded his feelings of loneliness. Several serious discussions took place over those last few months as he expressed his feelings to us.

After Bourneo, we moved onto Phuket where we met up with his grandparents for a month. Other teenagers or companionship was no where to be found for him still. Even though Dionne and I had quickly learned where we had gone wrong, promises for the future improving were not working for Jayden and he decided that he wanted to return to the UK. It was like a dagger in the heart! Our family was splitting up for the first time. Despite the emotional goodbye, we knew he was in safe hands living with his grandparents and the life he was returning to was what he needed for his mental health and happiness. We are now 9 months further down the line and Jayden is very happy. Which ultimately makes us happy. In fact, he has just came out to visit us for a month in Kuala Lumpur. We had a great time.

Where did we go wrong? Did we choose bad locations? Probably. Did we still enjoy those places and make lots of happy memories? Absolutely. As a location independent world schooling family, we underestimated the power of community and how creating new relationships with larger clusters of like minded families in popular locations would help our children settle quickly and forge new friendships. Planning ahead and knowing where these communities existed would have been useful to know from the outset. After the heartbreak of losing Jayden, we were now very conscious of our pace of travel and the need to find like-minded families to befriend. 5 months slowly travelling around Thailand in various worldschooling family hubs got us loads of practice and the 4 remaining kids have made life-changing friendships with lots of children. Including us as adults with other mums and dads. Friendships that are ongoing and we all plan to regularly meet up in the near future. 14 months since we left the UK and now we are confident enough to start our own communities whereever we go!

If you are a family that has similar concerns as we did whether you have not made the big decision to start travel or have already started travelling, here’s our top tips for helping your kids make friends as you travel:

This has been our most fruitful resource. Worldschooling, family travel and expat groups are set up and available for most countries. That’s certainly been the case for us across South East Asia. It’s easy to join them and the moderators are very welcoming. We normally start talking to families in the groups ahead of travelling to a country which helps with our itinerary planning and gives us the confidence that we are going to be meeting with like-minded families and lots of other children. After 14 months, we are now old members in a lot of groups and even moderate some of them!

Don’t be surprised at the amount of interest you will start to get from friends back home who see what you are doing and would love to be part of your journey even if it’s only for a short while. Sometimes your paths just might luckily coincide or you arrange for them to. Either way, it’s nice to have friends with children or family members (cousins) sharing your journey and spending time together.

Where there are playgrounds … there are always kids! Accidental friendships are so natural and lovely. Our children have made so many friends in this way even if they only last for a few hours or a day. When we have stopped at playparks, the kids normally find play partners easily even if they don’t even speak the same language.

We love it when this happens and it does happen quite a lot. On several occasions, our kids have made friends with locals on the beaches, in nearby villages close to our accommodation, even in airport departure lounges! The Philippines stands out for us. The families with children over there are so warm and welcoming. Coming over to give us food, talk to us, the children immediately hit if off and start playing. So lovely to see.

If you happen to be staying at a place where it’s known for catering to young families, then thats going to make it very easy for the kids to make friends. To be honest, that sort of accommodation is a bit above our monthly budget but we have come across them and indulged. Very fun places to be around.

There are plenty of options around to suit your budget. International schools are expensive but still a great place for kids meeting with other kids. We have tried cheaper more informal schools and hubs where there are plenty of worldschooling families around so lots of children meeting each other. These places are easily found through all the FB groups. Places can be limited so make sure you book early.

Participating in group activities and organized tours provided our kids with exciting opportunities to bond with peers who shared similar interests. Whether it was a family snorkeling adventure, a jungle trek, or an art workshop, the structured nature of these activities encouraged teamwork and camaraderie. Working together to solve challenges or create something memorable, our children formed meaningful connections that went beyond the confines of the activity.

Our initial concerns about making friends during our slow-paced South East Asian journey were quickly dispelled by the incredible ways our children forged connections when we put them into the right environments. From cultural exchanges to impromptu playground playdates, each encounter enriched their travel experience. As a family, we learned that friendship knows no boundaries and that the open hearts of children can transform strangers into friends in the blink of an eye. Our adventure became more than just a voyage; it became a canvas of friendship, painted with the vivid colors of shared laughter, mutual understanding, and the joy of human connection.